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Jul. 11th, 2008 11:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
[OOC: The morning after this.]
Jack is wearing a different shirt the next morning, so presumably he changed at some point - but there is no other evidence that he had slept or stopped reading through files at all. But he's in his office as the sun comes up, sitting back in his chair and making scathing notes all over one of Owen's medical writeups. He might feel bad about that at some other time.
Apart from the soft hum of the computers, the rest of the hub is quiet, most of the lights still off.
Jack is wearing a different shirt the next morning, so presumably he changed at some point - but there is no other evidence that he had slept or stopped reading through files at all. But he's in his office as the sun comes up, sitting back in his chair and making scathing notes all over one of Owen's medical writeups. He might feel bad about that at some other time.
Apart from the soft hum of the computers, the rest of the hub is quiet, most of the lights still off.
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Date: 2008-07-11 10:29 pm (UTC)It's not the first time he's slept in the Hub, but still it takes a moment to get oriented--couch, desks, lights.
And there is the fuzzy feeling in his head to deal with.
He sits up carefully and takes his time making sure he's steady before even trying to stand.
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Date: 2008-07-13 10:26 pm (UTC)He sighs slightly, and makes a note.
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Date: 2008-07-13 11:46 pm (UTC)Which can't come too soon, either.
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Date: 2008-07-14 10:52 pm (UTC)Besides, making Ianto wait may be cruel, but it is also as effective as shouting, something he doesn't really want to do.
He turns back to his papers, but keeps listening for movement in his direction.
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Date: 2008-07-14 11:19 pm (UTC)He takes a deep breath, and then changes direction to Jack's office door.
"Sir," he says simply. "Anything--anything I should know today?"
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Date: 2008-07-14 11:41 pm (UTC)"Nothing immediate, unless an alarm sounds," he says. "Anything I should know? How's your head?"
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Date: 2008-07-14 11:43 pm (UTC)"I'm sorry about last night. You know how things seem like a good idea until you actually, well, do them."
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Date: 2008-07-15 11:36 pm (UTC)"Might want to look at where you do them as well, if there's a next time."
Jack's expression, cool as it is, suggests he really, really hopes not.
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Date: 2008-07-15 11:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-17 01:01 am (UTC)He feels like such a killjoy.
"In the interests of that... If you're having a hard time - with anything - I want you to know you can talk to me," he continues, then smiles slowly. "I guarantee, you can't shock me."
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Date: 2008-07-17 01:05 am (UTC)He starts to go, then turns back to Jack. "Is now a good time?"
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Date: 2008-07-17 01:18 am (UTC)"If it is for you, it is for me," he says, setting aside his papers. This has to be good. Right? "Come and sit down, Ianto."
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Date: 2008-07-17 01:23 am (UTC)"That's not the first time I've had pot, of course," he says eventually. "Just the first time in a while. I'm finding--" He pauses, takes a breath, "I'm finding myself a bit . . . at sea.
"I've been trying not to let it effect my work but obviously I'm failing."
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Date: 2008-07-17 01:31 am (UTC)"I can understand that," he says eventually. "Feeling at sea, I mean. I'm... not sure there is any instant cure for that."
Although if Ianto finds one, Jack may never rest until he tells him what it is.
"For coping in the mean time, though, I think we need to find you a more healthy outlet. Once in a while, drugs can be fun. But when you're trying to escape something, it's-" Jack's expression twists slightly, and focuses on the table. "It's too easy to cling to."
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Date: 2008-07-17 01:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-17 11:06 pm (UTC)"It... It's going to take time. Whatever way you choose. But whatever helps you keep going, don't get to rely on it. That way leads addiction, and that never ends well, and while I am the original advocate of casual sex, just-" Jack blinks at himself and waves a hand in a manner that would be awkward on anyone else. "Be careful. Don't let coping become everything to you. Grieving hurts, but it's better than a lot of alternatives."
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Date: 2008-07-17 11:11 pm (UTC)"Did Tosh tell you what she heard from me through the pendant? She told me. She--she apologized. For not knowing I felt a way I hardly know I feel."
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Date: 2008-07-17 11:31 pm (UTC)(It was like you were... I don't know... dead.)
"She didn't tell me, no. But that's like her."
Poor Toshiko.
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Date: 2008-07-17 11:34 pm (UTC)"Eaten up from the inside by pain," he says with a little nod as if to say, yeah, it's melodramatic and emo and guess what? Also true.
"If I'm carrying that around with me, Jack, how do I--I mean, can a person get over that? Or is it too much to hope for?"
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Date: 2008-07-17 11:45 pm (UTC)"I don't know that's right. I don't think you'll ever reach a point where Lisa's death doesn't matter to you any more, or doesn't hurt. But pain does grow less in time. I can promise that, at least."
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Date: 2008-07-17 11:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-19 11:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-19 11:15 pm (UTC)He pushes himself to his feet. "I need a shower."
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Date: 2008-07-19 11:28 pm (UTC)Then he shrugs. "Go on. You'll feel better."
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Date: 2008-07-19 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-21 11:51 pm (UTC)"Me? I have Torchwood. It's working out better than drink did."
He says that now, but Torchwood's killed him far more often than drink has. (About 80:1, actually.)
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Date: 2008-07-21 11:57 pm (UTC)He blinks it away.
"Saving the world," he says quietly. "And isn't being a hero as addicting as anything I'm doing?"
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Date: 2008-07-24 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-24 12:04 am (UTC)Knowing Jack, it could be anything from his zoo to his fiefdom.
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Date: 2008-07-25 12:15 am (UTC)"You really don't know what about it means so much to me?"
Maybe he's teasing a little, but it's something, a light-hearted change of subject.
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Date: 2008-07-25 12:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-25 12:28 am (UTC)"All right then," he says, and leans forward, lacing his fingers conspiratorially. "I love people, Ianto. And as you may have noticed, I am extremely selective with who I hire, and I try never to give up on them once I have. You keep me going. You keep me wanting to keep going, and you make it worth it."
He tilts his head, entirely unembarrassed, and smiles lopsidedly. "Even with the occasional misstep. Makes getting back on the right track all the better."
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Date: 2008-07-25 12:31 am (UTC)"Oh," he says simply. "Good."
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Date: 2008-07-25 12:34 am (UTC)"And now you are overdue a shower. And probably whatever caffeine infusion you like to start your day with. Go. You'll feel a thousand times better."
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Date: 2008-07-25 12:36 am (UTC)